The World Revolves Around Family

The World revolves around family, for where would we be without one? No matter the religion, the race, the culture, the sexual orientation, we’ve all struggled to manage the restrictions imposed because of the pandemic. Forced to work from home, or forced to be home, many have strengthened their family bonds. Those whose lives are troubled have had a harder time.

Many of us haven’t been able to visit those we love. Robert and I are fortunate to have one daughter and her family in town, but our younger daughter and family live in Toronto. We haven’t seen them since December, 2019. That’s been very hard. Thankfully, we’ve had virutal and other ways to keep in touch. But it’s not the same as hugging those we love. I’m sure you can all relate.

My world revolves around family in my novels, too. Especially these last ten years of writing Lukia’s Family Saga, a tale of love and sacrifice for family. I’ve recently completed a round of virtual interviews and author readings for Lilacs in the Dust Bowl, the sequel to Sunflowers Under Fire. Both of these novels are based on my grandmother and her children’s life in the old country and in Canada .

Family Tragedies

While I was busy with these author events, news broke about the discovery of 215 Indigenous children’s graves outside the Kamloops Residential School in British Columbia. This discovery stunned me and my fellow Canadians. These children had been torn from their families and placed in residential schools because those in charge, government and church, didn’t believe that what they were getting at home was worth protecting. Or salvaging.

These children were strapped and otherwise punished if they talked in their family’s native tongue or expressed any interest in their own culture. Besides the emotional and physical abuse, many were also sexually abused. And now they lie in unmarked graves. How many more are there?

Our Prime Minister, Justin Trudeau, asked the Pope to make an apology. Why did he even have to ask? Shouldn’t the pope have made an apology as soon as the graves were found? This pope seems to be a compassionate man and yet, the indigenous people, many who are still Catholic, continue to wait for his acknowledgement of wrongdoing by the priests and nuns who ran the residential schools.

A friend said to me recently, “If the goverment hadn’t stepped in, these children wouldn’t have gone to school. They wouldn’t have had an education.” Perhaps for some, that would have been true. But at least, they would’ve had their families. And maybe then, the goverment would’ve been forced to look at other ways to support the indigenous families and educate their children. What happened to these children and their families was unconscionable! Too many in the government and church overlooked the fact that learning also takes place at home.

Those who survived the residential schools carry that trauma to this day. A trauma that’s been passed on to their children. We are all affected by the stories in our family. The good news is that we as a nation have woken up to the indigenous family stories that are missing from our country’s history. Through Truth and Reconciliation, we hope to address the wrongs of the past.

And then there was the other news story out of London, Ontario. The senseless killing of a Muslim family out for an evening walk. Three generations were killed by one man who had hate in his heart. This morning, I cried for the nine-year-old boy who survived the killing of his family. His family, like my grandmother and children, had immigrated to Canada in search of a better life. They’d emigrated from Pakistan. How will the little boy manage living with the trauma he experienced? He has been forever altered.

It’s hard to fathom what was going on in the mind of the young man who chose to mow the nine -year-old boy’s family down with his truck. As a former family therapist, I wonder about his upbringing, but also his state of mind. Was he on drugs? Was he mentally ill? How will his family manage knowing one of theirs murdered innocent people?

A Great Documentary

On another note, Robert and I recently saw an inspiring documentary, All Our Father’s Relations, on Knowledge Network. It’s a story of the Grant Family, who suffered injustices of their own, but didn’t let the difficult part of their past eat away at their soul.

Their mother was indigenous, a member of the Musqueam nation in Southern Vancouver, British Columbia, and their father was Chinese. They met on the reserve, where Chinese immigrants, hired by the Musqueam band, farmed the land. Though the couple married, the father eventually had to leave the reserve to find work in Chinatown. Unfortunately, the mother couldn’t leave without losing her status and the benefits she was entitled to. The Indian Act forced the couple to live apart.

Their children were caught in no-man’s land, visiting each parent in their respective communities . Again, you wonder why this family had to suffer such injustice because of Government policies.

When the children became adults, they were pulled by the need to know their father. To learn about their Chinese roots, they traveled to their father’s village and relatives in China. They were embraced by all they met.

The Grant family wanted what we all want: love and understanding. No matter the race or ethnic origin, our world revolves around family. When families are nurtured in their communities, we all win.

Hope is on the Horizon

Thank you for visiting my blog. Though the news has been tragic, I’m an optimist. We’re all waking up to the fact that we are more alike than different. We’ve seen marches this past year, people from all backgrounds united for causes of social justice and climate action. And though we are hit too often by grim stories, we need to realize more than ever, what drives our news. As they say, ‘if it bleeds, it leads’. We need to remind ourselves that what we see, hear, and read is not a complete picture of what is going on around us. There are many heartwarming stories that don’t make the front page of our news sources.

There is hope and change on the horizon. Right now, we are slowly coming out of the pandemic. While we were huddled in our houses and communities, we discovered Nature in its glory. Trees, flowers, animals, birds, they continued to do what they do, reminding us of their beauty and uniqueness. And we were reminded that our world revolves around family.

Robert and I had our second shot and are looking forward to more social gatherings, and visiting our daughter and family back east. I hope you and your family weathered this challenging period.

Wishing you and your family better times ahead. Stay well.