The Agony and Ecstasy of Writing

What writer hasn’t experienced both agony and ecstasy in their writing? Following your passion means subjecting yourself to those highs and lows.

Self-doubts of All Writers

This post, however, isn’t so much about my agony and ecstasy in writing, it’s about what all writers go through when they write their books.

A few weeks back, I attended the 2018 Words on the Water Festival in Campbell River, British Columbia. The presenters, largely award-winning scribes, talked about their writing process as well as read from their works. I appreciated their candor. They all mentioned their self-doubts in one form or another, which goes with the territory. Insecurity is a constant companion of the writer who wants to get it right.

Bev Sellars, this year’s Writer-in-Residence at the Haig Brown House in Campbell River, wrote They Called Me Number One, about her experiences in a residential school in Canada. When she decided to tell her story, she lacked confidence. She worried about grammar and all the other aspects of story structure that all writers fret about. But through the support of her husband and others, she was encouraged not to give up.

She hired an editor, who put her in touch with the publisher of Talon Books and the rest as they say is history. She now encourages others to tell their stories and not be deterred. Her generosity in sharing her qualms was appreciated by both the novice and seasoned writer. All writers question their abilities some of the time.

Renee Sarojini Saklikar, poet laureate of Surrey, British Columbia, shared how her first book, Children of Air India took its toll. She was so obsessed with getting it right, that she reviewed her work ad nauseum. Interesting as ‘ad nauseum’ connotes sickness. It took her five years to write this story, and it made her sick.

I understand that kind of obsession. It goes with the passion to write. A passionate writer gets obsessed with the words on the page.

Mark Leiren-Young, bestselling author of The Killer Whale Who Changed The World, mentioned that he had thoughts about returning his advance (the signing bonus an author gets before his book is published). He couldn’t figure out how to start his story and every time he submitted what he’d written, he was told it wasn’t working.

His account reminded me of my own frustration at trying to get the opening of a story right.

Terry Glavin, non-fiction author of seven books and numerous articles in magazines like Maclean’s, described his writing process. When he revisits his work-in-progress, he goes over the pages written the day before. At times, he will start at the beginning again before he adds anything new. I loved hearing that, as I tend to do the same. He validated my work habits.

David Chariandy, author of a number of award-winning novels—Soucoyant and Brother, spoke about his anxieties. To find the right sentence, he revealed that he writes his sentences many different ways, even if his first attempt was good. His humility and vulnerability spoke volumes.

He is a successful writer who reaches readers through words that speak to all of us. Life is an emotional roller coaster, and to write successfully means touching hearts and minds with our words, and that means digging deep and not being satisfied the first time around.

Finding Ecstasy

Alix Hawley, author of All True Not A Lie In it, a novel featuring Daniel Boone and longlisted for the Scotiabank Giller Prize, had similar experiences to Mark. She not only struggled with the opening, she struggled with voice. Whose voice to tell the story in. She started with third person and when that wasn’t working tried other ways, and in the end, settled on first person. She described it as Boone’s voice coming out of the blue. I love when that happens.

Those organic moments are ecstasy for every writer. It’s as if the work is writing itself and we are only the vehicle that carries the magic. We just need to pay attention and listen to the voices that speak through us.

Heather O’Neill, author of Lullabies for Little Criminals, bravely shared some personal experiences. As a child, she wrote about her father’s family and their bouts of crime from the time they were young boys, only to be told by her father that she couldn’t keep her diaries as they could incriminate her uncles someday. Heather persevered and wrote their exploits anyway, along with his fabricated tales, which were magical.

There is ecstasy in writing stories that are built on imagination, but there is also agony here, especially when you’ve been told not to share them with the public. How many of us have written stories that involve those we know intimately? There is always that tug, that suggests maybe we shouldn’t and yet these are the stories, because of truth behind them, that pull at all our emotions and make us feel we are not alone.

Writers Are Artists, Too

Years ago, I read The Agony and the Ecstasy, by Irving Stone. It was about Michelangelo, the famous artist who sculpted the Pietà and painted the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel at the Vatican. He went through big emotions creating his monumental works. Writers are obviously not all creative geniuses like Michelangelo, but they go through these highs and lows, because they are all artists on the page.

 Would love your thoughts on the above, whether you’re a writer or a reader. Thanks in advance for your comments.

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