On Valentine’s Day, love is in the air. It’s what makes the world go round. We all crave it, we all need it, and we all suffer at times for it. We forget that love and inner beauty go hand in hand. When we forget, we need to write ourselves a new script.
A friend once wrote a book called How To Make Yourself Irresistible. Loving yourself was a good way to begin. I was reminded of this when I read the wonderful blog post: Beauty of a Woman Blog Fest by August McLaughlin. If you go there, you’ll find other posts on what beauty is and how, as women, we need to hang on to what that truly means.
Last year, I wrote a guest post, that speaks about inner beauty and letting it shine through. It was for Paula Renaye, a life coach and author of the Hardline Self-Help Handb0ok. Here it is again.
The Body Beautiful
Reflection, A Bronze Sculpture by Robert D’Arcy Stevan
Every time I go to the supermarket, I’m visually assaulted by some magazine heralding a new weight loss diet or the latest photos of a celebrity who looks fabulous after losing pregnancy pounds, or a series of before and after shots of obese people who’ve successful trimmed down. I’ve known women, who’ve seen these photos and rather than be encouraged to lose weight, they eat more out of frustration. Try as they might, it’s hard for them to reach the ideal manufactured by popular media. If they would only consult health charts, they would see that normal weight is more than what popular culture is promoting.
So I have to admit, I was shocked when I first met Luce, a Mexican Indian woman, who was a life model for art classes in San Miguel de Allende, Mexico. Without saying one word, she taught me more about self-confidence than any Oprah show, People magazine, or pop psychology book.
When I met her 16 years ago, she was in her late twenties, a heavy-set woman with large hips and thighs, layers of fat on her stomach, and a face that, by North American standards, would be described as plain. And yet, she radiated confidence. Perhaps it was no accident of birth that she was named Luce, meaning light.
What struck me, was her comfort with her own body. She would pose naked for us, and then after a twenty minute pose, she would stretch and walk over to our canvases in all her nude glory, and see what we had captured. Her face was lined from the sun but she didn’t worry about how she looked, or the fact her body jiggled when she walked. She was proud of what she did for a living—proud and confident with herself.
Where and when did we lose sight of being comfortable in our own skin? The one God (or Nature) gave us? Where and when does it start, the lamentations about this inadequacy or that? My nose is too big, my hips are too wide, my arms are too flabby, my stomach sticks out, my thighs touch, my breasts are too small, my bum is too large (the latter, maybe not, given Jennifer Lopez’s beauty).
Today, we have an obesity epidemic and a rise in anorexia and bulimia, two extremes, that didn’t exist in these proportions two generations back. What are we doing to our children, when we continue to admire falsehoods? With airbrushing, makeup, and face lifts, stars and models peer out from magazines portraying some unattainable ideal. No wonder we give up and eat too much junk food to ease the pain, or try too hard and eat too little.
If I could’ve, I would’ve bottled Luce and brought her home with me to Canada. I would’ve bottled that self-confidence and passed it around. Luce was painted, sculpted and appreciated. Her light shone for all to see.
Despite what popular culture has taught us about beauty, Luce reinforced for me the old lesson, beauty comes from within.
What do you think about the messages in popular culture? Are you as upset with them as I am?
Having worked in the fashion industry, I know exactly how unrealistic those magazine images are, for the women depicted included. What an inspiration both you and Luce are!
Thanks for sharing the link to my post. So glad it resonated with you. 🙂
Thank you for you comments. I worked in the fashion industry as well, and how things have changed since then. Back in the 70s when I was a model, size 8 was the norm, and pretty skinny at the time. We never heard of size 4 or 2. It wasn’t long after that there were reports of anorexia and bulimia as women fought to get to some manufactured ideal. Beauty comes in all shapes, sizes and colors. Wouldn’t life be boring if we all looked the same?
Diana, your blog is absolutely beautiful. Thank you for sharing your insights. It’s sad how we as women are so hung up on our outward appearance. i am very guilty of these very same insecurities!!! I wanted to thank you for visiting my blog, Menopausalmother, at Bloggers and for leaving a comment. I’m looking for a place here to sign up as a follower(like Google Friend Connect) but I don’t see it. I don’t have a Twitter acct. either. I’ll try to subscribe to your blog instead! Thanks again for sharing! next time you’re blog hopping, stop in again and say Hi or maybe sign in with my Google Friend Connect (on the actual blog page, not through Bloggers) so we can keep up with each other! Thanks again for sharing!!
Thanks for visiting and your comments. I think our insecurities are endemic or should I say, epidemic? I feel for the young girls today. I have two lovely young granddaughters and I hope and pray that they will embrace themselves, appreciate what they have to offer, both inside and outside and not be swayed by all the fashion and beauty magazines that seem to promote only one kind of beauty. Tall, thin, and busty, and let’s not forget the unblemished and unwrinkled complexion.
So True!!! Your words have actually brought in more confidence in me. Its a reality that people today have fallen for false look and hate their own self. Its very important to love yourself and be who you are! This is one of my favorite post…..I really really loved it. Thanks for such beautiful words!
Keep Smiling and Happy Valentine’s Day to you too! 🙂
That’s what I call a great post, Diana. Happy Valentine’s Day to you too!