Gay or Straight – What Does It Matter?
Two Gentlemen in New York's Easter Parade
I’ve been distracted from my writing lately by all the media brouhaha about same-sex marriage. Unless you’ve been in a coma, or otherwise unavailable, you’ve heard that Joe Biden, vice-president of the United States, came out in favor of it on a talk show last week. Then, President Barack Obama followed suit by announcing he believed gays should have the same rights as straights when it came to matrimony. After that, the right wing media exploded. You’d think the president had committed the most grievous sin, when all he’d done was try to right a wrong.
When I was growing up in the 50s in Winnipeg, Manitoba, I, like most of my generation referred to gays as homos or fruits. We’d make jokes not directly at anyone suspected of homosexuality but there’d be asides, when we’d see a boy or young man exhibit any female traits, like crying, walking funny, or throwing a ball like a girl. As for girls who showed more male traits, well, they were kindly referred to as tomboys or in the extreme, butch. We were ignorant and didn’t know any better. But I don’t remember any bullying, not the kind that Mitt Romney, Republican candidate for the American presidency, is now accused of. Never saw any of that, thank God.
What I fail to understand, as I did back when I was growing up, was the argument that gays can choose to be gay. That they have a choice. Even when I was a therapist in the 70s, there was a belief amongst some psychologists, that through behavioral therapy, they could be cured. Psychiatry was also guilty back then of labeling gays as abnormal. At the time, a psychologist, with whom I worked, committed suicide rather than reveal that he was gay. He was married with kids, and to admit that he was pulled in another direction would’ve been impossible to bear. His fellow workers were devastated to learn he felt that way. We lost a great therapist.
Many argue sexuality is a choice. Who would choose being gay? You’d have to be insane to choose to be someone that is often ridiculed, condemned, and not given equal rights. Gays and lesbians have no more choice to be gay than a straight man or woman has the choice to be straight. Can you choose the color of your eyes, or the intelligence you’re born with? Why do some people think you can choose their sexuality? The only choice they have is to hide their gayness or come out of the closet so to speak.
Oscar Wilde
Society as a rule has been most unkind, judging sexuality that doesn’t fit a man-created norm. History is full of people who’ve suffered because of ignorance. The writer, Oscar Wilde, is one of countless numbers who’ve been persecuted for behavior that was normal and natural to them. He was tried and imprisoned for what was described as gross indecency with other men.
I also saw on the BBC the other day—in reaction to Obama’s announcement—an older couple mentioning that there were no homosexual animals, so therefore gays shouldn’t be allowed to marry. It is false that there are no homosexual animals in nature. There are apparently 1500 animal species that practice it. Nature has many colors. It is as natural in nature to have gay animals as it is natural to have gay men and women in our families.
Many Christians claim homosexuality is a sin.
7th c. Icon From St. Catherine's Monastery
How do they explain the contradictions within their faith? Apparently, there is evidence that in earlier Christian times, same sex unions were celebrated. A religious icon from St. Catherine’s monastery (now in the Kiev art museum in the Ukraine) shows what looks like Christ overseeing the marriage of two men.
There are so many more important issues in our time to grapple with than spend time debating whether we should or should not have same sex marriages. To quarrel about what is natural is a waste of time and resources.
Gay or straight, what does it matter? Who knows, maybe Jesus was gay. But no matter if he was straight or gay, he was all about loving your fellow man. And that is something I choose to follow. I’m straight, but if I’d been born gay, that should’ve been all right, too.
It was either Jesus or Paul (can’t really remember since I’m Jewish but I have read the New Testament) who said that in heaven there is no male or female. Maybe they both said it. I believe Jesus said it in answer to the question – if a woman marries many men, who will be her husband in heaven… something like that.
Seriously, people do not choose to be gay. People are born the way they’re born and it’s trying to repress their true nature that gets all these Christian ministers into trouble.
Something else Jesus said was (paraphrasing) – First cast the mote out of your eye before you worry about what’s in your brother’s eye. He also said, and this is my favorite – Let he who is without sin cast the first stone. Thank you, Jesus.
Love your comment, Julia. So true, “let he who is without sin cast the first stone.” I also like, “there, but for the grace of God, go I.” I think this is the problem I have with many organized religions. I don’t understand how you can preach love (Jesus’s teachings) and yet exclude whole groups of people, because they don’t fit your idea of who is “good.” and faithful. Same is true of government. Rules and benefits should apply to all citizens. We should be equal not only in God’s eyes but also under the law.
I was happy to see Obama take a stand. I really hope he manages to stay in power in the states…I think he’s the best president they’ve had in many years. The uber-conservative politics he’s up against scare me!
Yes, I was happy too. He’s been waffling about this so long, that I was losing hope. And I agree, he is the best president the USA has had for years. He tried hard to get some kind of accommodation with the opposition, but the more he bent, the more they demanded.
This is what I have experienced from leaving a cultish church.
It is not only about gay people, it is about anyone within a church who fails to adhere to every single thing that the pastor/leaders request of you.
What I don’t understand is that the bible states that the wheat and tares will grow together and are not to be separated until Harvest which is the expression Jesus uses to denote the eschatological day of judgement.
If that is true according to the bible, then why is it that ‘man’ once again has decided to take it upon himself to play God. It is the duty of man to preach the word and obey and it is God who decides to punish. I don’t feel I am wrong in this, but correct me otherwise.
I also believe that God is not mocked and is not stupid. Do those who abuse, control and do evil within the confines of the church really believe they are ‘saved’?
The church is so busy looking at things that are on the outside, that they are not looking at the things that is happening on the pulpit ie: child abusive, fornication, adultery, and the list goes on.
Sorry if I have gone off tangent here, I’m getting annoyed at this. Nice Post.
Thank you for your comment. I’m sorry you had such a negative experience. I can’t comment on the bible as I’m no expert. I believe in a loving God. And yes, there are many churches where hypocrisy is prevalent, but there are many others who work hard on helping people with their spiritual journey. I guess I expect the congregations of those religious places where abuse is prevalent to speak out and demand some action, demand a change for the better.